mr. grumpyhead's

The Inside Smack

Welcome to The Inside Smack, my new feature where I, who abide well inside "the Beltway" of Washington, D.C., will use my great gift for getting the dirt-caked knowledge and thrilling, truth-bespeckled facts about this place I've monikered "Our Nation's Capitol" -- just for use in my fabulous blog. And it's all for free! Tee hee! So, here we go:

ITEM: The "skinny" out on the street is that a certain George W. Bush is set for a "second term" as President of the United States, and that he will be commencing this "term" in some sort of ceremony this week which will either be followed or preceded by a somewhat bizarre parade down D.C.'s now-famous Pennsylvania Avenue, followed by a great many parties and "balls"... gee, sounds like it'll cost them a mint! Who pays for all this stuff?

ITEM: Don't look now, but we're at war in Iraq! Seriously! Well over a thousand U.S. soldiers have died there in the past couple of years, practically, and we ain't out yet!! Holy Christ! You should have seen who I had to fuck to come up with that gem!

ITEM: I've told you about the ritual ceremony to swear in the President, but what you may not know is that the Congress of the United States was already sworn in only a couple of weeks ago. They're up, shaven, and ready to go. This is how things work in what I like to call "this town."

ITEM: Boy, oh, boy: I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but it gets pretty damned cold in "this town" - truthfully! It's, like, twenty degrees, out there.

ITEM: Word has it that one of the lovable Bush twins now has a college degree, a teaching credential, and has signed on to teach at a Washington Public School. Who would have thunk it? Hah hah hah.

ITEM: I'm been assured that Puerto Rico isn't a state, but a United States "territory" of some kind. At least, I think that it's a territory. I'll have to find out what it is called, officially, somehow, and then get back to you with the up-to-date facts regarding this.

ITEM: Golly, if I didn't know any better, I would say that some of the secretaries and assistants in "this town" sleep with their powerful bosses. I mean, just look at them, Wowsy-wow-wow-wow.

That's all for this edition of The Inside Smack. Smack smack smack. Yummy.

Got any dirt or inside information for use in my blog? Then send it my way and I'll take all of the credit for it! Want to nominate my site for one of the many awards available? Have at it! Want to make a monetary donation to help maintain my blog? Go right ahead!

Inaugural Posting

For the event of this my virgin foray into "publishing" in the area that was only yesterday hailed as "web diaries", but then was changed into a much more serious "online journals", but now goes by the much more modern and cryptical title of "blogs", I have prepared some answers to friends and other confidants from questions that they have been nagging me about. This will, no doubt, make little sense to the rest of you (I count three of you, thus far), and I do apologize for my self-indulgence, and I do beg your patience, but I do feel it important to respond to these matters while I'm doing this blog thing, for my time is of great, great value to me. I just need to get this out of the way... and then it's happy blogging addressed to you, the reader who doesn't know me. So, here goes:

1. No, of course not.

2. Yes, the election you speak of was, in fact, as rigged as a Yankee Clipper ship.
3. Entomology is the study of insects, and not the study of tree life, although trees often come into close play in the study of insects, from what I understand.
4. She won that award because of her immense and terrific talent, and not because her actors, especially her star, were, I agree, clearly improvising most of the funnier scenes. No, that doesn't actually make any sense, whatsoever, and, yes, it does seem unfair. No, I doubt that an announcement will be made that she will share credit. Or the award.
5. Richard Adams.
6. sacred-texts.com would have to be one of the more amazing sites I've ever seen. And, yeah, I know: if one more "critic" uses the phrase "one of the more/best/most/greatest/worst/most wretched/most triumpant" to describe anything, then I'll vomit for you. I've just used the last "one of the" that can be reasonably used, even though I'm not billing myself as a critic. So, now, let the vomiting begin (and don't forget the dash between sacred and texts to get to that terrific website).

   April 10, 2004 in Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (6)