mr. grumpyhead's

A Whole New World

At the press conference:

GWB: I suppose my answer to that would be... uh... you know, the world changed after September the 11th, 2001.... There was a shift-ing of the American consciousness. The priorities and soul of America changed from whence it was prior to that awful day that I shan't soon forget.

Correspondent: If what you're claiming is... indeed... true, Mr. President... then why in the holy fuck are people still watching that god damned fucking Survivor horseshit? Huh???

"The FBI starring Efram Zimbalist, Jr! In Color!"

Hey, for those of you who were busy last night and didn't get to see Paramount's Homeland Security on NBC, here are some memorable highlights from the Easter evening telecast:

(Tom Skerritt is the academic who is called by the White House to head the Department of Homeland Security just under Secretary Ridge. No, we never get to meet Ridge in person, which would have been fun. Skerritt's character has a second banana who is a loveable, somewhat twitchy yet urbane guy whose name is.. Saul. And don't tell me you didn't see that coming)

Saul: (looking at Skerritt's character intently) When I said I didn't want Homeland Security to become America's Gestapo (he casts his eyes away, looking downward)... I really meant it.

(Hey, those are comforting words, Saul, because earlier in the broadcast the dumbass Goys across America were all intently wondering about that sincerity question regarding you, of course....)

(A blonde, blue eyed, tough guy CIA agent gets a call to go to Oakland's Lake Merritt in California where the FBI is involved in a heavy stakeout of a large terrorist cell. CIA guy whose name and portrayer I forget because I'm not intelligent enough to remember knocks on the door of the ratty hole-in-the-wall where the domestic Feds are set up)

CIA guy: Open up. I'm the Good Guys. (or some variation of that as he shows his ID through the door's peephole. A young FBI agent not busy at the stakeout gear table lets him in)
FBI guy: Hey, so you're a spook, huh? (chuckles incredulously) Sorry, man. It's just that I've never actually met one of you guys, before.
CIA guy: That's okay- we'll be working a lot closer together from now on.
FBI guy: Amen to that.

(Scott Glenn is an old-timer at the Agency who is going to retire on 9/11 when he comes out of retirement due to the attacks and finds himself on horseback a few scenes later, in Afghanistan, aiding the Northern Alliance in some of the program's more expensive scenes due to all the comp generated effects in the explosion and battle depictions. At one point they go into an underground facility in a hill that has been blasted by U.S. airborne fighters, and Glenn comments wearily about all the body parts lying around that they find in the cave, very probably a major al Quada stronghold. As he goes further into the cave with a flashlight he comes across what is clearly an abandoned intraveneous feeding bag on a stand... then a dialysis machine... then something that looks like an unusual cane that, I assume, is meant to be one of bin Laden's well-known possessions. It's clear that the Primo Catch has once again eluded them... and, of course, us, as well)

Scott Glenn's CIA character: (as he holds up the cane between himself in close-up and the camera) Son of a bitch!

Uh.. yeah! Son of a bitch, indeed! Gee, that'd be my reaction, too, in the same situation!
The two hour program, which had no warnings about violence during the breaks (maybe there was one at the very beginning, but I'm not sure) was unusually violent for primetime network television, especially without those parental warnings, including at least one unflinching shot of a point blank shooting into the head (there were several shootings like that) and a wide eyed closeup of a sniper victim with a blood puddle seeping onto the pavement from the back of his skull... and I must say that these seemed to be lifted/borrowed/stolen from the more shocking shots of Schindler's List, except that this wasn't a black and white offering, of course. The drama looked to me to be the premiere episode of a proposed series, although I don't know if NBC has picked it up. Think the FCC might prevent it?

Easter Sandwich

"Truth is, my fellow Americans," he said, smirking waggishly at the camera, "is that this year you're all being served a giant, jumbo helping of our recipe for Easter Sandwich - and you're all just gonna hafta take a big ol' bite!"