Aboard Air Force One (continued)

Laura: (with horror) On, Sweet Jesus Christ... you've gone and kidnapped Terri Schiavo!!

George and Jeb: (grinning wildly) Yep, we sure did!

Laura: But.. how... how did you do this??

George: (as both men's smiles vanish) Well, it certainly wasn't easy. Had to get Jeb's help, of course...

Jeb: (sheepishly) Yeah. We had to use what was left Stateside of the Florida National Guard, and a very large mirror for the use of a stage trick, the secret of which we acquired knowledge of - for a very pretty penny.

Laura: (dumbstruck) Stage trick?

George: Heh heh... yeah, we got it from those two German queens who do the magic show with all the animals out in Las Vegas! You know, the pair where one of 'em damn near got 'is face chewed off by a tiger, right there onstage? Medical expenses are high in the United States, even for guys like them who are as rich as they are, and I mean to keep it that way! My health policies certainly came in handy, this time!

Naturally, those fellas couldn't resist our generous offer to "borrow" the use of one of their greatest magicianal illusions to trick that complete bastard Mr. Schiavo... the utilization of this device bought us two entire hours where he thought she was there, just behind a thin curtain in her hospice room... when she wasn't! Heh heh. He prob'ly still hasn't caught on... Of course, to get those guys in Nevada to cooperate entirely, like keeping their gossipy yaps mum, we got Arnold out in L A to lean on 'em, a little.... nothing like that native German tongue between German compatri-ots to get the point acros't...

Jeb: Ahem... actually, Bro, I think they're all Austrian...

George: Yeah, but they speak that lingo, 's mah point. Yeah, okay. Whatever.

Laura: (quite cross) George Walker Bush, you turn this thing around, right this instant, and you put that poor woman right back where you found her!!

(continued manana)